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The Way of Heaven does not compete, and yet it skillfully achieves victory. It does not speak, and yet it skillfully responds to things. It comes to you without your invitation.
—Chinese Sage

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My Son Was Killed in a Car Accident

Continued

You also asked if he will appear to you so that you can ask him about some things. No one knows that for sure, nor can anyone tell you when something like that may happen. I have spoken with many grieving individuals who talk about feeling a sense of their loved one's presence being with them at various times after their death. I would simply encourage you to be open to that in the event it occurs at some time in the future. Feel an additional sense of concern for your other three sons as they grieve the death of their oldest brother. You may have even found yourself being overly concerned that something might happen to one of them as well. Again, please know that such a response is quite normal. Hopefully you will continue to talk about your son in your family gatherings and that your remaining sons will grow up with very special memories of their older brother because all of you as a family have kept his memory alive through the reminiscing you have and will do about him.

My best wishes are with you.

Paul

Paul V. Johnson, MA, is a consultant and trainer for business, industry, and educational institutions on issues related to loss and grief. He was formerly an Associate Professor of Sociology at Bethel College(MN) and Director of Aftercare Services for the Bradshaw Funeral Homes in the Twin Cities area. He has made presentations at the national conferences of major professional caregiving associations and is a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling.

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